Google says...

OK, well I told you earlier that I've been hella sick. And I thought I was doing better today minus the lightheaded dizzy thing I have going on. But it now appears that I'm not. I should be at home sleeping because I'm just about to fall asleep right here at my desk.

Since I don't feel like "Do Work Son", I decided that I'm gonna do the Tiffany + Google thing that Temple did. Only hers was Temple + Google. Obviously. I'm thinking if I keep shamelessly stealing cool stuff from her that maybe someday I too, will be graced with a kick ass blog award.

So here goes:

1. Tiffany needs bigger breasts.
* No I don't. Any bigger and I won't be able to breathe. Thank you very much.
2. Tiffany needs love and support.
* Thanks for reminding me that I'm a needy person. :) But I do love attention and support. Especially support in the breast area. Not joking...I really don't need them bigger.
3. Tiffany needs to pray.
* To whom? I don't get down like that.
4. Tiffany needs to be stopped.
* Fuck that. The year has just begun and so have I.
5. Tiffany needs a dream house.
* I believe I've been mistaken for Barbie.
6. Tiffany needs an epiphany.
* Well yeah..those are always cool.
7. Tiffany needs some reminders and supervision with regard to self-care activities and taking care of her personal belongings.
* I'm not sure who this Tiffany is, but she sounds kinda fucked up.
8. Tiffany needs to be placed in a loving and caring home environment.
* They must still be talking about Tiffany in #7.
9. Tiffany needs to be checked for weaknesses by a muscle testing chiropractor.
* I scoff in weakness's face. Weakness is for sissy cry babies.
and last but not least...
10. Tiffany needs plastic surgery sooo badly, and Tiffany should start wearing a paper bag if she won't.
* ouch

And here's a cool "Tiffany needs" picture courtesy of Google just for shits and gigs.

La Princessa's long lost cousin

It is currently 9:10 am on Monday morning. I get in to work at 7 am. So far today, I've accomplished absolutely nothing. Part of it has to do with that I have no work to do. The other part is that I've been sicker than a dog for the past five days and I'm lightheaded. I'm sure I could drum up something that looks like work if I could just think clearly. Anyway...

the last two weeks, my company decided to close down the sales department so that they could cut back on some payroll expenses. One of our sales assistants seems to be quite a bit like La Princessa from Temple's blog. I won't name names for fear that the crazy bitch will somehow come across my blog.

There are many stories about this girl who is yet to be named. Should anyone have suggestions, please feel free to fill me in.

Let me give you a little background on this girl. At first she seemed really nice. Then it was revealed that she might need to be on meds. The stories range from the police coming to our work to question her, to her telling us horrid stories about restraining orders on her parents, to her coming to work early and falling asleep in her car causing her to be an hour late to work.

And now for the first story of the year:

She told everyone how Big of Rob and Big fame bought her a drink in Reno over the holiday. "You know...the big guy from Rob and Big....what's his name?"

Flashback Friday

It is Friday, isn't it?

I got this from Temple. Here's how it goes.

Go here for a random date. Then go here for the Top 40 charts from the week of your random date.

Then tell the whole world via your blog a story about the song you chose.

First of all, let me just say that my Top 40 week is pretty freakin' hilarious. I think that music during this week was kinda crappy and shallow. But I like and remember almost every song on the list.

My random date is July 24, 2000.

During this time I lived in Minnesota and had a live in boyfriend that I really didn't care much for. But since I am not one for change, I sucked it up and dealt with it for another 2 years. Another story another blog.

The song I selected is It's Gonna Be Me by N 'Sync.

My son was 2...almost 3 years old at this time. He got the music gene from his mama. No, we're not musically talented. We just love lots of music. And he loved N 'Sync. So much so that Danielle bought him an N 'Sync action figure and he thought it was the coolest thing ever.

My loser boyfriend at the time had twin younger siblings; Katie and Bobby. I remember Katie being a bit more mature for her age than a typical girl. And Bobby being the typical teenager. We'd go to the family's house and they'd be watching TRL. But whenever N 'Sync came on, it seemed like everyone was drawn to the TV. I'm not sure if it was just because of the time we were in - pop music was dominated by teenagers and boy bands. Or if they were really a talented group. I mean, all these years later, we can only account for Justin Timberlake, right?

Anyway, I don't really have a crazy story for any of these songs on the Top 40 for that week because all I really did at that time was work. But I remember that N 'Sync just kinda took over that whole summer.

it really makes me wonder...

1. Why did Mariah Carey marry Nick Cannon?
2. Why are my teaspoons from Ikea so ridiculously small?
3. Why does my son watch WWE on the internet?
4. What is the appeal to golf?
5. Why do I seem to always fall ill on New Year's?
6. Why does anyone care about Brad and Angelina?
7. Who the hell is Cash Warren and how did he get to marry Jessica Alba?
7a. Further, what's the big fucking deal with Jessica Alba?
8. If there are generics for medicines, who chooses to purchase the brand name?
9. How do I get all these stains out of my carpet?
10. Why do men say "we" when they really mean "you"?
11. Why can't I just inherit like a million dollars so I don't have to work?
12. Where are Carmen Sandiego and Waldo?
13. Why would someone with no job spend their days fishing instead of looking for a new job?
14. Why is David Beckham married to Posh Spice instead of just hooking up with me?
15. Why is it that now I have $30 in iTunes credit, but can't think of anything to buy with it?
16. Why does my iPod say it's 4:12 am when it's really 9:36 am?
17. Why am I still checking work email on my day off?
18. Do you have answers to any of these questions?
19. Is it just me, or does the new Kanye album kinda suck?
20. Does anyone really like I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry or does everyone just sing it because it's so damn catchy?
21. Why do I wake up every morning at 4 am on the dot..but only for about 3 or 4 minutes?
22. If termites eat wood, then why are there balls of wood left behind?
23. Why doesn't spell check on the computer recognize the word internet?

I was tagged a month and a half ago....

I've been tagged by Danielle! This means that I have to tell you eight random facts about myself and then tag eight other people. Yay! So, here it goes:

1. I've been avoiding Blogger for the past month and a half because I didn't get a good turn out for my internet BFF search and didn't feel like explaining it to anyone. Sorry.

2. I hate the Yankees. Hate them hate them hate them.

3. I'm currently on a mission to find a pink Nintendo DS for myself. Actually...I'd settle for any color except blue. But I really really want a pink one.

4. When I'm excited I don't just say yeah. I say yeah yeah yeah yeah. I didn't notice this until someone pointed it out to me a couple months ago and everyone in the room laughed and said that I do.

5. I am maybe one of the most impatient people on the planet.

6. My dream job is to be a "cut man" - scratch that - "cut chick" for UFC fighters. I want to wrap hands before fights and stick gobs of Vaseline onto fighter's faces in between rounds when they have 3 inch gashes on their foreheads.

7. I have recently realized that I don't really give a shit about anything serious that most adults care about. Meaning as long as my family and I have a roof over our head and food in our stomachs, that's all I really care about. I don't care if I own the roof or rent it hourly. I just care that it's there. You come into the world with nothing. You can't take it with you when you die, so who cares. Everything is replaceable. Material shit is just that. I think people forget that.

8. I love to eat fondant right out of the box. There's no need to put it on cake.

Now that you know 8 random facts about me, I want to know some about you! Here are the fellow bloggers I've tagged:

http://pmc40.blogspot.com/
http://hawk052.blogspot.com/
http://alwayschasingcars.blogspot.com/
http://chichiluv2.blogspot.com/

Ok, so the tag rules are as follows: Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

how fucking cool is this?

So here's the story. Way back in like..I dunno, March I think, James, his uncle Kenny, his aunt Lisa(who is a very good friend of mine) and I happened upon a hookah bar in Foster City. None of us had ever smoked hookah, so we kinda sorta ditched the family for a little bit to go check it out. We all loved it. Flash forward to August of this year when Sami, Debi, and Shawn all bought me a hookah for my birthday. I was stoked. And I freely share the hookah wealth.


I brought the hookah to a family gathering for Thanksgiving where Lisa and I chilled and smoked the hookah. I thought..how cool would it be to buy her one for Christmas? So I did. Then she emailed me a couple days before Christmas telling me that Kenny gave her an early gift and it's a hookah. Great. Just great. Then James says, "Why don't you just send one to Danielle?" Duh! Why didn't I think of that?

So I spread the good news to Danielle. And she's stoked. Today, she sends me a text telling me that she's going to send an iTunes gift card to me via email to thank me for the hookah because I refuse to let her pay me for it.


This is where the story gets cool.

Danielle sent it to the wrong email address. And the guy, who's name is Tom, was nice and honest enough to email her back and tell her he's not me. Even better, he asked her to have me email him because he's been getting my email for months.

I emailed Tom and thanked him for not being a total douche by not stealing my iTunes gift card. Then, because I'm so unashamedly nosy, I looked him up on My Space and realized that he just might be the male version of Danielle and me. So we chit chatted back and forth over email for a little bit and found out that there is a small possibility that we could be related.

How fucking cool is that?

so....the bff search

I'm over it. I only had two people volunteer. Thanks Temple and Angie. It's done and over. Moving on...