just stuff

Have you ever had this like pent up aggression where instead of feeling like you need to beat the shit out of a bag (or a person), you just want to vent and write? I get that sometimes. I was feeling pretty well...grr...earlier today. And good ol' Danielle got me through it via texts while I was working my ass off in the gym (another day, another blog). But there's still stuff I need to get out. Most likely will not make sense to you, but that's ok.


Every week, I forget about that guy on American Idol. I can't even remember his name or what he sang this week, but I like him. And I always forget. Maybe he got voted off last night? I dunno, because it's still on my tivo.

I hate writing letters because I never know what to say. And I hate the fact that my hand starts to cramp after writing half of a paragraph. I'm not a writer. I'm a typer.


I avoid calling my dad for reasons similar to the above statement. I never know what to say. And I don't want him to think that he's an obligation to me.

I got selected to do the Nike Run Like a Girl Half Marathon again. This time I'm going balls to the wall. I even bought the Nike sensor for my iPod Touch. So far this week, I have logged in 21.20 miles, or 34.13 kilometers since Monday, March 24rd. Crazy right? (OK, so I guess the "another day, another blog" thing was today and this blog).

I have a gamer tag or whatever it's called on the PS3, but no games to play.

One of the episodes of Nip/Tuck that I watched last night reinforced a fear that I've always had in the back of my mind.

My Wii Fit made my Mii fat. So fuck the Wii Fit.

There is stuff that I've been pondering over the last week.
*On MySpace, I did a survey this week, and one of the questions was, "Have you ever been the other woman?" And that got me to thinking, what exactly is the other woman? Are you only the other woman if you know the man you're involved with is married? What if you don't know that he's married? Does that still make you the other woman? What if you have a bond with this man so deeply, and it's mutual, does it make you the other woman? Or does it make the wife the other woman?
*How many face lifts has Smokey Robinson had? I think he'd be a good patient at McNamara/Troy.
*What is my obsession with competition? Why do I always get overly caught up in it?
*It's crazy that I make more on unemployment than some people with jobs do.
*When money is given to a loved one, is it truly given? Or is there an underlying IDon'tEvenKnowWhatTheWordIsI'mLookingForHere thing where...well, you know. Are you expected to give up your first born? Or what?
*Why, if I eat just one hamburger after a week of working out and eating healthy, do I automatically put back on the weight that I lost the week before?
*How do you find the right pair of shoes to walk/run in? I have blisters from hell. Is it the shoes, or am I that bad at walking?
*Why does it seem like no one is doing anything about what's going on in Mexico? My very good friend was kidnapped there last month. He got out ok, thank God (Allah, Xenu, Buddah, whatever). Get those fuckers already! It's happening, but it's not happening fast enough.
*Is death not a big enough issue to be deemed worthy of a phone call?
*Since when did being in the 5th grade turn into an episode of 90210 that should instead be called 94538?

These dishes don't put themselves away.
Neither does the laundry.


Thanks for letting me get some of the stuff out. I'm gonna go watch American Idol now.

Oh, and one more.

I hate Twitter. I signed up for it 2 or 3 weeks ago. And it consumed my whole day for like 2 days. I hate it. I haven't deleted my account yet though, because I'm nosy and I wanna see what Rihanna is up to today. So this morning, I spent like 45 minutes on it, when I should have been getting ready to go see my mom and sister. But I didn't. I totally pissed all the time away looking at who follows who on Twitter. I hate it. Sometimes I go days without going on there and I don't care if I don't update my status. Then sometimes, I feel the urge to go there and tell people that I'm doing shit, that honestly, no one cares about anyway. I hate Twitter. But I'm sure I won't be deleting my account anytime soon.

fin.

narcissistic personality disorder

For the last week or so, I've been hearing about Twitter like every 7.5 minutes. Crazy, because I'm still not employed, so it's not like I'm getting an overload on social interaction. Finally today, I broke down to see what the hell it is. And...well, it's retarded (no offense to my mentally challenged peeps). If you have MySpace or Facebook, you already "twitter". Or whatever it's technically called. Twitter is a website where you post what you're doing right now. But minus the apps and comments or what have you. Just your status.

It's lame. But, since I've signed on this morning, I have updated at least 4 times. Maybe even 5. And it's really lame because I only have three followers. And I don't have any idea who one of them is. But it's cool. Whatever.

As I was leaving lunch with Sami, I was thinking, I need to go home and update my Twitter thingy saying that I'm home now. Seriously? Who cares that I went to Wendy's and came home?

And so that got me to thinking that Twitter is a bunch of narcissistic bullshit. You might need to be pretty self involved to think that people actually care that you just brewed a pot of coffee or you are watching High School Stories on MTV2.

Now, those of you that know me, know that my mind tends to wander. Or rather, run at lightening fast speed. One thing leads to another to another and before I know it, I'm talking about people licking goats on Cheaters. Hmm..

In my quest to blog and inform you, if you care, that I am now on Twitter and you too can cyber stalk me if you choose to do so, I googled narcissistic so that I could properly spell it for you all. (Or should I say, "y'all" because I've always wanted to say that) ANYWAY...did you know that there is a such thing as "Narcissistic Personality Disorder"? Yeah!! There is!

Of course, I had to click on the link to see what it is. Here's a brief synopsis (no, I didn't have to google the spelling on synopsis)

Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with this disorder are usually arrogantly self-assured and confident. They expect to be noticed as superior. Many highly successful individuals might be considered narcissistic. However, this disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling or distressing.

OMG. I think that's me. Except, minus the whole disorder thing. I'm not a hypochondriac. However, I did have to text Danielle to find that word because I forgot what it was.

I'm a narcissist! I kinda expect everyone to realize how superior I am. I mean...I am right 99% of the time. I am self involved...then again, who isn't. I am self assured and confident. Possibly obnoxiously so. But the biggest thing here is that I lack empathy for others. Well, not everyone. Just for dumb people. Hmm...are these qualities of a strong woman? I wonder.

I got so lost in the shuffle...

that I forgot to tell you guys that my iPod broke a few weeks ago. Yeah, I know. Most of you don't care. But to know me is to know the significance of an iPod in my life. I need an iPod like I need oxygen. No joke. So after fighting tears of frustration and talking to my good buddies at the Apple Tech Support team, I came to realize that the cost of repairing my iPod would be ALMOST as much as buying a new one. Everyone already knows how cool Apple is. Well, to reinforce their coolness to me, they told me that if I purchased my new iPod at an Apple store, I could recycle my old one and get 10% off of my new one.

So I did it.

I bought a new one.

And this is not your run of the mill iPod either.

Oh no.

It's a 32GB iPod Touch. Queue angels singing here.



This thing is hands down the new love of my life. Yeah yeah, I love you and everyone else too. But no offense, there is no comparison to the euphoria I experience with my iPod. Genius play list without having to use iTunes? Check. Free apps? Check. You Tube? Check. Maps? Check. Email? Check? MySpace and Facebook? Check check. Anything I want..it's all on this little glass and stainless steel wonder. Dude...I ♥ this thing. Seriously.

And since I no longer have a job to go to every day, I've been spending lots of quality time with my iPod. And I have revisited music that I haven't listened to in forever as well as stuff that I currently cannot get enough of. I thought maybe, since I have so much time on my hands, that I could just list random lines from songs that I like that make me laugh, are cool, I can relate to, or just other stuff I wish I had written myself.

*And of course I'm slappin' hoes, mackin' hoes up and down the avenues.

*Who you know fresher than HOV? Riddle me that.

*His Pinto was sitting there is the parking lot...well that shoulda been a warning. I had no clue what I was getting into so I blame it on the Cuervo.

*"Blah blah blah blah" that's how the fuck you sound, you drunk and hot girl.

*Slow down my spit so you squares can understand it.

*Who you tryin' to get crazy with esa? Don't you know I'm loco?

*I like my beats funky. I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

*I'm insistin' you chill for real before you come up missin'.

*I don't like living under your spotlight.

*You ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama. Hood rat hood rat hoochie mama!

*They say money don't make the man, but man I'm makin' money.

*Why spend an arm and a leg when we can kick it for free?


And that's all I've got for now. Off to the DMV. Yay.

I'm so bored, that I forget that I'm bored

As some of you know, I was "laid off" last week. I'll spare you all the details, but it's really a bunch of bullshit.

So tomorrow will be one week since I've been laid off. I figured that this might be kinda cool in some weird way. Because I cannot remember the last time I've had an entire week off. I've been actually reading all the material I need to for school. I get to be a mom and drop off and pick up Danny from school every day. I can cook dinner at a decent hour. I can take as long of a lunch break as I want. I can watch all my shows on my DVR. More importantly, I can watch all the Nip/Tuck on DVD that I want.

But..

I'm so fucking bored.

So far, I have sent my resume to at least 25 places. I've turned in one late assignment. I've deleted shows on my DVR because I now kinda feel that The City is a waste of my time. I forget to take the meat out of the freezer to make dinner on time. And Danny asks me to drop him off around the corner from school because my Honda with a different colored hood from the rest of the car is too embarrassing. But, I have watched OODLES of Nip/Tuck on DVD.

I'm so bored, I forget that I'm bored. Seriously. Right now, I'm watching American Idol. And I'm bored. So I was playing Texas Hold'Em on My Space. And I was still bored. Commercial break comes on, and I thought "Hey! I'll watch Grey's Anatomy on my DVR! because I'm bored." Then I remember that I'm watching American Idol.


Being unemployed is like being high. Only without the Mary Jane, coughing, and munchies. Too much time on your hands to do things that are mostly irrelevant and you can't decide what to do first. So you end up staring at the TV with your eyes glazed over and wonder where your whole day went.

Things That Have Amused Me In The Past Week

1. Being told that being a bitch is OK as long as you're not discriminating who you are a bitch to.
2. Going to City Beach and listening to music such as Come Baby Come by K7 and Back to the Hotel by N2Deep.
3. A-Rod apologizing (ahem. DEEPLY SORRY) for taking steroids.......even though he claims he doesn't know where he got them, what they were, or why he took them.
4. Danny being STOKED about his evening at WWE Monday Night Raw tonight.
5. My brand spanking new 32GB iPod Touch and the pick up lines app I downloaded on it.
6. Those weed commercials where the girl says, "I made my mom cry."
7. The Jonas Brothers performing with Stevie Wonder on the Grammys.
8. The cop eating a donut in City Beach.

That's all I can think of right now. I gotta finish my white mocha from Starbucks to keep myself awake. :)

I Hella Love The Bay

because it's only in The Bay that you can ride a BART train (Bay Area Rapid Transit)and witness this en route to the South Hayward Station.



Yes, SHE is standing up and pissing on the train.

Here is the story.

Last Friday night, James was coming home from his friend's house after work. When he got on the train, the woman we now see standing up and bare-assed was dead asleep in a seat. He moved past her and sat in the corner. Then out of nowhere, she wakes up about 45 minutes into the ride and realizes she has to relieve her bladder. So she gets up, grabs herself, pulls down her pants and does "the damn thing". If you will notice you will see there are a few people in front of her. As she is "doing the damn thing", one of the guys in front of her yelled back to James, "Yo- what the fuck is she doing? Is she pissing?" James replies, "Oh yeah! She's pissing!".

Then the winner of the classiest woman award kinda snaps out of her daze and realizes that there are other people around and everyone just say her pissing on the BART train. She got off at the next exit.

Never a dull moment in the San Francisco Bay Area.

4 cute kittens +1 psycho bitch + 1 Barack Obama - G. Dubbya = the truth shall set you free

A few weeks ago I was having dreams about 4 kittens. The first night of the dream, James and I were somewhere that I'm guessing was our new home and it was Texas of all places. On the patio, there were four sweet little kittens. Two were orange tabbies and two were the black and grey striped kind (whatever those are called). One of the orange ones and I completely clicked. I wanted to keep it so bad but I knew that I couldn't. A couple days later, I dreamed about them again, but this time they were older and a little bigger, but still kittens. I don't remember the circumstance, but the orange kitten was there and came up to me and I was sad I couldn't keep it. The third time I had the dream, they were like teenager kittens. Older, not fully grown, and in that awkward stage of growth. But the orange one and I still really clicked.

Dude...these dreams were bugging me because I could not figure out what they meant or why they were growing each time I dreamed about them. So I texted Danielle and asked her to break out the dream book because I wanted to know WTF was going on. She told me that cats mean you're going to have a huge fight with someone, the growing symbolizes an ongoing issue, and then she asked me if there was a storm brewing any where. And there wasn't that I could think of. Then I started to worry that it was going to be Sami because in the third dream I had, Kenny (Sami's boyfriend) had the kittens and he was trying to give them away.

Flash forward to last Tuesday (weird that I'm asking you to flash forward to the past, but go with it). Happy inauguration day!! Woohoo! All will be right with the world. My cool friend Tom posted a funny little story about people throwing shoes at a blown up doll of Dubbya on inauguration day. I reposted it and my fucking psycho "friend", who is a Republican because she took 3 quizzes on the internet that told her so, emailed me and told me how disturbing it was.

Now, if you feel like going back through my blog, you will see that her and I had some problems after election day. From that point forward, I decided I will no longer discuss politics with her because she is ignorant and doesn't know what she's talking about because she has not done any research aside from 3 quizzes on like...I dunno...fucking Pyzam or some stupid shit like that.

It all rolled into a giant ball of fury on Wednesday. I will spare you the details of the ridiculously looooooong emails she sent me full of bullshit lies but I will say this: she really should be on meds. I told her never to contact me again. Do you think she listened?? OF COURSE NOT!

Of course I kept Danielle in the loop the whole day. She's my bff and there will never be another. She was laughing with me and could not get over the fact that 3 quizzes can actually determine your political party affiliation. Then I brought up the cats again and she kinda freaked out (not like the psycho Republican) and said she had completely forgotten about the cat dream and we decided that yes, in fact, the cats referred to the psycho bitch who's name I will not mention.

What's even crazier though is that I was talking to Sami about it last Wednesday and told her the dreams. She said that the cat was orange and spotted because psycho bitch has strawberry blonde hair that is kinda orange-y and she has freckles.

OK, this is getting to be too crazy.

OK, so long story short, I'm done with this crazy bitch. But she can't seem to let it go. She went as far as to email me this morning to tell me what a shitty person I am and how she bought me a Tiffany's necklace for my birthday blah blah blah. A gift is a gift. I didn't ask for it, I certainly wasn't expecting it. The email goes on to say that I don't need to bother replying to her because she's blocking me again. LOL

I texted psycho path to get her address so I can send it back to her. She told me to grow up.

?

How am I the immature one here?

So let's get immature!

Anyone wanna buy a Tiffany's necklace from me? Best offer. :)

Being an immature bitch feels so good.

Have a beautiful week Lovlies!