Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Am I supposed to be mad or laugh?

Anyone that has children or raises other people's children knows that there are many many obstacles to overcome in trying to teach these kids what's right and what's wrong amongst the 5 gazillion other things we need to instill in them. Today, Danny taught me again that it is hard to lecture, nag, and/or discipline when what he does is probably the same thing I would an adult.

Case in point: As we were trying to get out of the Safeway parking lot, some idiot in front of me decided that he wanted to turn left onto Fremont Blvd. Fremont Blvd. is a very busy intersection. You'd be lucky if you can even go right out of this particular driveway. So he had at least 6 cars plus the Burger King drive thru backed up while we all waited for him to get his stupid ass out of the way. Some other dumb ass starts honking his horn behind me as if that will solve the world's problems. Finally there's a brief moment where he can gun it and make it across. I move out to the right and get into the far left turning lane (it makes sense if you've seen the intersection) and the honking guy pulls up next to me in the outside turning lane.

And he's staring at me. Like I'm the one that caused everyone to sit and wait. Now typically, I'd yell out the window and tell him to fuck off and what not. But this guy was just strange. He held eye contact with me for like 6 seconds and it creeped me out. So I looked away.

Danny is sitting in the passenger's seat and hears me mumble to myself what a fucking freak show this guy is.

So we're sitting at the light for what seems to be an eternity. If you know me, you know that I most likely have a mild case of ADD. We sat there for so long, that I'm not kidding you, I forgot about the freak staring me down. Then....


I look over and freak show is talking to me.

"WHAT?" WTF does this jerk off want?

"You better look at your kid and tell him to get his hand in the car."

I look at him like he's out of his mind. Don't tell me what to do with my kid. Then my mind starts thinking about what I'd do if I was a kid and some honking freak show was staring at my mom. So I say:

"What are you talking about? What did he do?"

"He's flipping me off." a do I handle this? Do I have five Danny because that's really what I want to do? Do I tell him that freak show might have a gun and it's not cool to flip off people? You have to know who's the right candidate after all...

So I tell Danny loudly (so that freak show hears), "Keep your hands in the car. You can't flip off people, they might be FUCKING CRAZY."

And I really try so hard not to smile or laugh while telling Danny this. I did pretty good. But now poor Danny probably thinks I was mad at him. I just can't tell him that it was funny because then he'll do it all the time. he doesn't do it now.