I have been so lazy

that I didn't even tell you about the crazy stuff that happened. Danielle told me to blog and I really intended to, but yeah...lazy. So now, I have at least two...no wait...three stories that were blogging about. I'm just not sure if anyone really cares now. Especially since the first two all happened within three days of each other in the beginning of August. They're pretty f**king funny...ah, what the hell. I'll start with the first story. If I'm not bored with the typing by the time I'm done with it, I'll be on to the next and then to the next. It's nothing against you guys. I have the attention span of an 8 year old. Right now I'm thinking about lighting up a hookah. And I just started the blog!

Oh, but before I even start the first of the three stories, let me just say one thing. I just thought of a fun way to blog. I'm sure there are other people doing it as well, but it's the first time I thought of it. So there. Every day, for at least the next.....month - I'll do a picture blog. I'll take a picture of something going on in my life that day. Maybe it will be somewhere I'm at during the day, maybe it will be some amazing food (clearly not made by me), maybe it will be some crazy ass in the City...who knows!? One picture a day for - well ideally a year, but you know me - probably a week with a brief (or not so brief) description. How fun!!! I can't believe I'm so excited about it. I kinda wanna run outside and take a picture right now of something just so I can start it today. But I won't because I still have these three totally blog worthy stories.

Actually, I'll end this one right here. These stories are completely deserving of their own titles.

and now a message from DOUCHE BAG

Alright, let me lay down the foundation for you. A long time ago in a far away land, a girl (me) was in a relationship with the ultimate douche bag. Seriously...ULTIMATE DOUCHE BAG. I could write hundreds of blogs about how lame this guy is, but I'll spare you the stories. However, I will spill just a couple now to give you a bit of back ground.

This guy worked on the dock in a department store that shall remain nameless. I worked in the same store and that's how we met. Not long after we met, he did something to his arm and hurt it at work. Yeah, it was more than a sprain. But less than an amputation. But let me tell you....this guy drug that shit out FOOORREEVVVVEEERRRR (think of forever in The Sandlot). And by forever, I mean present time. And this all happened probably like 10 years ago.

One time I kicked him out of my house. Danielle was so happy. And so was the rest of the world apparently. But Danielle told me if I promised her I would not let him back, she'd buy me furniture for my place. I promised and she followed through. But I was a fucktard and let him back. Moral of that story is if your bff bribes you with furniture, your significant other is probably not right for you.

Time passed and I eventually kicked him out for good, laughed like the little people in The Wizard of Oz when the house fell on the Wicked Witch of the West, and got on with my life. I moved back to my "homeland" of Cali, and have been thriving ever since.

Flash forward about 6 1/2 years to this morning. I do my usual morning routine. Play my games on Facebook. Log on to My Space....oh wait a minute. New Message. And it says from: Douche Bag*.

I immediately text Danielle. I'm feeling so floored/amused/shocked/arrogant that I accidentally text her with just "O" when I was trying to say something along the lines of "OMFG CALL ME RIGHT NOW". So I open it, and read the message. Then Danielle calls me. I say, "GUESS WHO FUCKING MYSPACE ME." And she gives me a couple of names of people that I don't hate (because it's too exhausting to hate) but that I don't like as close to hate as possible. Finally I blurt out: "DOUCHE BAG." Danielle's response is classic: ".........SHUT.........UP......" hahahaha! So then I can't stop laughing at her response. And I read it to her because I don't get it. And she doesn't get it.

Later on in the morning she texted me and told me to blog about it because we don't get it. Maybe you can figure this out? It's gotta be a riddle, right?



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From:
To: Tiffany
Date: Jul 23, 2009 2:49 AM
Subject: you wouldn't believe it if you heard it from me.


hi. i have a favor...really requires nothing out of you. but it is a large favor...involving my left arm. and possibly the end of my taking pain killers. let me know if you'll be willing to help. no pressure.

My response was:


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Tiffany
To:
Date: Jul 23, 2009 8:45 AM
Subject: RE: you wouldn't believe it if you heard it from me.



what does that even mean? is that like some riddle??

i'm not promising anything, but what do you need?


Input please!!





*not his real name as I am trying to protect MYSELF in case anyone knows this DOUCHE BAG and agrees that I was a fucktard for being involved with him.

is anyone there?

I'm just wondering if any of my family reads this and if so, who. I need to vent. haha!

Sacramento Doggy Dash

As most of you know, I kinda got into this whole "K" thing. K meaning kilometers and actually walking/brisk walking/lightly jogging them. I just signed up to do a small 2K thing with the Sacramento SPCA next weekend. And I would really really appreciate it, if you could just donate a little bit of money. I'll be your best friend forever. Just don't tell Danielle. :)

Go here: Tiffany's Doggy Dash Fundraising Page

Thanks and I love you all!!

TMZ is convinced that Tupac is alive

and well and living in New Orleans. I think this guy does look similar to Pac...but there's no way he's alive and living in New Orleans. He wouldn't be able to walk around anywhere in the US without being seen (like now).







Thoughts? Comments?

I'm thinking this guy is an impersonator as his profession.

Run Forrest Run!!

So as you know I told you guys a couple weeks ago that I am trying to train myself for the Nike Run Like A Girl Half Marathon in October. By doing so, I got the sensor for my shoe so that I can do the whole Nike Plus thing. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I also broke down last week and bought a new pair of shoes.


I now know that I don't suck at walking because I'm no longer getting blisters. So that makes my shoes pretty cool. But what's even cooler is that they have a spot under the cushion for the Nike + iPod sensor.

I seriously love these shoes. It feels like walking on jello. Minus the cold and sticky.
And I love Nikeplus.com. My iPod syncs all my runs to the website so I can compete with people I don't know as well as people I do know. Like Danielle. She got it too. And, Brittany...we're still waiting on you. I have this cool little widget so that I can show everyone how much "running" I've done.

I say that in quotations because I don't actually run. I walk. As briskly as I can. I'm hoping to eventually do into a run, but for now it's walking. So check it out. And if any of you have this whole get up, let me know and we can compete. Just for fun of course.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

Hello Blogger people! Where do I begin..oh! So I was just looking at my list of followers (and for the one of you that's secretly following me, can you just let me know who you are? I'm nosy. Thanks) and I saw this option where you can befriend people on Blogger. I'm not sure why, but...mmkay. So...add me I guess? I'm not sure what the point is, but whatever.

Anyway! So much going on! We are finally moving out of this hell hole apartment complex. I'm fucking stoked. And where are we moving you ask? Across The Bay to The Peninsula! Woohoo! The last time I lived on a peninsula I lived in Florida. And a good chunk of time I lived there, I lived in a nudist colony. Ahh...gotta love my hippy parents. The older I get, the more I realize I'm like them. Not in the naked sense. You couldn't pay me enough to live in a nudist colony now. But in the sense of going around and seeing new places and things and all that.

I've lived here in the bay off and on for most of my 30 years. But it's always been here in the East Bay. From Oakland all the way down to Fremont - most of the time in Hayward which is kinda in the middle of the two cities. So The Peninsula is pretty much uncharted territory for me. I know my way to Ikea, a couple of family member's houses...SFO Airport..and yeah...that's about it over there.

What's so cool about moving? Well, for one, I will have many purposely lost road trips to find my way around. I wish that Danielle was there. We're notorious for those. Second, I will no longer have to pay bridge toll to go to San Francisco. Woohoo! Coming up with $4 to cross a bridge is a major annoyance. Not a pocket book breaker, just an annoyance. I've seen the Sopranos. I know they only pay like $.50 or $.75 to go through a tunnel. So why do I have to pay $4 to cross a bridge?

In other news, James has FINALLY decided to sell the Tran Am. That means we are going to get rid of my bucket little Honda and hopefully get two (new to us) used cars. Oh happy day! It's kinda bittersweet for me. I love my little bucket Honda. But it's days are numbered.

I have to give our notice to these apartments today. We're planning on moving on the 25th. Although I'm sure they'll make us prorate our rent until 30 days from today. Whatever. I just want out.

That gives me 3 weeks to pack everything. Oh lord. I have a trip to Tahoe this weekend which I'm sadly considering cancelling, going to Tawnya's next weekend for Martin's birthday, and the weekend after that is our moving weekend. So much to do and so little time.

And that's all. Actually it's not. But it's all for this blog. I'm gonna post another in a minute. :) Happy Tuesday folks!